Without Her
by Lynnlee22
Summary: Joey gets a glimpse into a harsh reality.


Without Her

Joey/Kelly

One Shot

He watched the scroll across the bottom of the screen. The words were cold and indifferent. All the reports, all the photos, all the eye witness accounts of the crash—none of it made this any more real.

He glanced across the room at Dorian, remembering the frantic knock at his door in the wee hours of last night. She'd come to him frantic—begging him to tell her that he'd heard from Kelly, but he hadn't.

She was so upset; it took him a few minutes to even realize what she was saying. When he turned on the tv, the news filled every station. It has been a large plane carrying several high profile business people—CEOs of large companies, political figures, and Kelly. His Kelly.

Telling Aubrey what happened made him angry, though it wasn't her fault. In truth, his anger wasn't directed at her…it was, and should have been, directed at him. He had missed his chance, and now that chance was gone forever.

Very little hope for survivors….those words kept repeating on the screen until he thought he'd go crazy if he saw them again. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Joe," Dorian said, softly. "We just heard from the police."

He looked up at her—his eyes begged her not to confirm his fears.

"She was definitely scheduled to be on the flight. She confirmed her tickets earlier today." The tears streamed down her own face as she watched Joey's face fall.

He reached out for her, clutching her small frame for support.

He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that—minutes…maybe hours, but when he finally mustered up the strength to speak, all he could manage was, "I didn't get to tell her."

Dorian looked over at him, "Tell her what?"

"That I loved her—that I never stopped," Joey responded tearfully. "I didn't get to tell her."

Dorian nodded. She knew Joey loved her. Everyone knew. Even Aubrey had to know. But hearing him say it now, when Kelly was gone—it had to be horrible…especially for Joey.

"You know what the crazy thing is?" Joey said, not really expecting an answer, "The crazy thing is, I never really thought I loved Aubrey. I mean, sure…I liked her and I kind of cared about her, but I never even thought I loved her the way I loved Kelly. I never expected to love anyone the way I loved Kelly. That kind of love was once in a lifetime, you know?"

Dorian shook her head, "I know," she smiled.

"I wasted all this time arguing with her over her relationship with John and telling her to stay out of my life with Aubrey and all the while I could have been telling her how I really felt. We could have had a life together….and now…it's over. She's gone and I'll never get to tell her any of this. How am I ever going to live with that?"

"Kelly knew that you cared about her," Dorian said, trying to be comforting, "She knew."

"But I hurt her…during these last few weeks we really had some rough moments. I told her to stay out of my life and to stay away from me. I accused her of being so jealous of me that she started up with John to rub it in my face. I just said horrible things to me. I can't fix it now. I can't take it back."

Dorian sat quietly for a moment, then reached for Joey's hand. "I wish I knew what to say," she said softly.

The sound of Blair's quick footsteps startled them both. "Dorian…Joey," she said, her breathing labored. "The police…they're on the phone. They said they have news about the crash."

Dorian's hand rushed to her mouth. "Oh God, they've found…"

Joey didn't know if he could stand. The thought of Kelly's body being found in a plane…of that being the last moments of life she'd experienced…he didn't think he could bear it.

Her hands shaking, Dorian took the phone, "Yes," she said.

Joey listened intently trying to glean what he could from Dorian's quick replies. Something was definitely going on, but he couldn't figure out what. The second the call ended, both Blair and Joey started the barrage of questions.

"What did they say?" they asked in unison.

Still dazed, Dorian muttered, "Her name isn't on the boarding roster."

"What?" Joey asked, stunned.

"The boarding roster. The actual list that they make when passengers check in. Her name wasn't on the boarding roster. They think there's a chance she might not have actually boarded the plane."

Joey clutched the edge of the couch for support. "So Kelly might not be on the plane after all? She might be ok? She might be coming home?" He could barely trust himself to stand. The rollercoaster of emotions was simply too much for him. He'd gone from trying to deal with losing Kelly forever, to having another chance at happiness with her…and the added bonus of now knowing just how precious that second chance was.

"Ugh," the voice from the foyer growled. "This damn suitcase has been nothing but trouble since the moment I got it from baggage claim. It's ridiculous that they charge you to check your bags and then they sling everything around. Can you believe they broke one of the wheels?" Kelly walked into the room, her arms filled with luggage and clearly more than a little irritated with her traveling experience.

She was in Joey's arms in an instance.

"Joey," she said, confused as she dropped the bags on the floor.

Pulling her away from him, he took a breath. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you," he said, leaning in to kiss her quickly.

Kelly pulled back. "What is the matter with you?"

Dorian rushed over to pull her into another tight grip. "Don't you ever do that to me again," she said, kissing her cheek and tightening her grip around Kelly's slight frame again.

"Are you two drunk?" Kelly asked with a slight smile.

As she looked around the room, her eyes fell on the tv screen. "What's that?" she asked, reading the scroll as her eyes widened. She didn't need the explanation as the scroll continued. "That's my flight."

"We know," Joey said, taking her hand and kissing it. "We thought you were on it. I thought I'd lost you."

"We both thought that," Dorian said, wiping a few stray tears from her face.

Kelly lowered herself to the couch slowly. "I…I missed my connection and I didn't make it," she said. "I could have been on that plane. The baggage claim…it was slow and my connecting flight had already left."

Joey pulled her close to him. "You're here. You're here and that's all that matters now."

Dorian stood from the couch. "I'm going to give you two a minute," she said, smiling at Joey. "I think Joe wants to talk to you about a few things."

Joey smiled as he watched Dorian leave the room, smiling more broadly as she winked at him over her shoulder. Turning his attention back towards Kelly, he took her hands in his. "Tonight..when Dorian told me this was your flight…I thought you were gone. I thought I'd never see you again."

"I'm sorry," Kelly said quietly. "I would have called…I just had no idea…"

"Shhh…" Joey said, kissing her hand again, "it doesn't matter. None of that matters now. I just…I realized something when I thought you were gone. I realized how much I need you…how big of a part of my life you are. Without you…there's this part of me that's gone….and it's the best part of me. I love you, Kelly. I always have. I think I always will."

Kelly looked at him, her eyes filled with tears. She'd waited so long to hear these words from him. "What about Aubrey?" she said, trying to be realistic. As much as she'd love to fall into his arms and forget about the rest of the world—Joey still had a very real problem—a very real commitment to a very real wife.

"I'll handle it. I've got to tell her the truth. I think she knows. It's apparently been pretty obvious to everyone but me," he said with a smile. "I promise you…I'll tell her first thing in the morning and then we get started on the adventure our lives."

Kelly took a breath, "I'd love that Joey..I really would, but"

"But, what?" Joey asked, his brow furrowed—what could Kelly possibly be worried about.

Kelly smiled, "That adventure cannot include any air travel."

"Deal," he said, leaning in for a kiss and then putting his arms around her.

Joey held her for a long moment before leaving to head home. Telling Aubrey wouldn't be pleasant, but it had to be done. Even if just for a few moments, he'd glimpsed life without Kelly tonight. Life without her was a life he didn't want to ever have to endure.


End file.
